Each morning, as I wake up, my habit of cradling my nice cup of coffee, sitting and sipping it which starts my day off in gratitude. The taste of the coffee lingering on my tongue, enjoying the essence of it’s rejuvenating liquid. Once settled on my couch, one of my two cats, mostly Sneakers, will be up next to me asking me for attention. I get the energy of his gratitude that I appreciate so well. The smile on his whiskered face, the “meow” of his good morning. Morning habits…we all have them and I find that if mine starts off the same each day, I find balance throughout the day.
This past Memorial Day, Chris, my room mate/lover/boyfriend or SO (significant other)- and I decided to spontaneously get on the Vallejo ferry to San Francisco. The weather was beautiful, brisk, and the trip worthwhile. I have many memories of going out on the San Francisco bay. (So this was my Memorial Day). My first real memory about the San Francisco Bay is taking a boat (I think it was an Army transport boat that my father actually skippered) out of Fort Baker, which is just north of the base of Golden Gate Bridge. He was in the Army at the time. The year was around 1956, and the Army families had a picnic on the eastern beach of Angel Island. Angel Island, Fort Baker, and Fort Cronkite were all Army military sections in the Presidio region. I must have been around five or six.
My fondest memory was going on an impromptu trip with my dad from our military housing in Fort Cronkite, (now known as the Marin Headlands in the Golden Gate Park District) and getting on a military duck transport with an Army truck on the back. The truck had supplies for the post exchange on Angel Island. Before my dad got the the boat started, he and I walked around the back of the truck, which was loaded onto the duck already. He lifted me up and sat me on the tail gate of the truck and reached into a milk crate pulling out two small cartons of fresh milk. It was cold and tasty. I had my daddy all to myself…didn’t have to share him at all with my big brother or little sister. This memory seems so fresh, and will always be one of those positive memories that I shall retain, and I love remembering him that way. I suppose that’s my happiest, when I’m on the San Francisco Bay.
My SO sometimes doesn’t understand how excited I get when I do go onto the bay. When we passed some of those sailboats and smaller motor boats on the Bay, the significance on how large the Bay is to those small boats is stunning. I’m not interested in going on someone’s personal boat, the ferries will do just fine, thank you. So the San Francisco Bay was choppy and brisk, and very few people on the ferry. It’s funny, but I truly get giddy when I’m there on the water. Reincarnation? Don’t know…but maybe there’s a shred of thought there, a previous life of delight. I scan the waters for porpoises, remembering the ones I used to see as a young child.
It is rewarding to get emails from readers that have taken the time to read my book. All of them have been delighted to read it and have received something out of the book that relates to their own journey. Not all of them are widows or widowers. My best recent comment was from Ernie (he is in Chapter 8 – The Dates, along with Chris – my significant other). Ernie came to my recent book signing in Pittsburg and got a copy of my book. I didn’t tell him that he was in it (very few of my dates do know that), but he bought his own copy and read it. He called me last week and told me that the book was like an “anti-gravity device” and he couldn’t put it down. He complimented me on the process of my writing, and loved the way I wove the past and the present in and out my journey. He also said that he could relate to my journey, even though he had not lost anyone to death. But ultimately, he told me that he was happy that we have crossed each other’s path. He is always a fun person to be around. We sometimes meet at the dancing parties in the summer. Last year I went on a white water rafting trip with his group. Although I wasn’t on his raft, I got bounced out of my raft twice and his raft would reel me in. His comment would be “Alright, I know you wanted to be in my raft, but this is ridiculous!” He is great fun. So is my significant other!
So looking at the world positively has great benefits. You can cheer on what’s coming to you and not worry about the past. You can appreciate the fact that this life of yours is created in your own reality, and if you glance at it from history, look for the memories that are clearly uplifting. Enjoy each memory with intention and good thought. Ultimately, I’m finding that being spontaneous can bring back wonderful memories and create new ones. In the meantime, go enjoy a good cup of coffee or tea, pet your cat or dog, and believe that all is going along just fine, the way it’s supposed to be.
Only in spontaneity can we be who we truly are.